Tap Into Empowerment

The journey to empowerment, healing, and success can follow many paths – we can help you find yours.

Nov 2

EFT and Short Cuts

by T. Bracy

The info is out there…

I want to take a minute to address the short cuts and tapping scripts that are prevalent across the internet.  A large part of the appeal that exists in EFT is in its simplicity and ease of use, but we can’t let the fact that it is so easy lead us along a path that everyone is following – for several reasons. EFT is already a major short cut to healing and empowerment, so do it right!

I’ve included the EFT Basic recipe and sequence here for a reference, and the technique is all over in videos, books, blogs, and tutorials, but until you’re really familiar with the technique and how to use it most effectively, it isn’t just a matter of learning and doing. It’s not that tapping on issues or with certain scripts won’t get you any results, but the quality is in question. You’ll spend extra time working on things using a script or language that is too general. And chances are, you’ll leave aspects of the issue behind – and miss out on the true depth of healing offered to you.

The methods and delivery vary…

As EFT was developed, the tapping points and sequence were provided in tutorials that prompted improvements from others, which led to different variations of the technique, tapping sequences and wordings that weren’t endorsed by the founder. So now you can find books, DVD’s, audios, and practitioners that develop their own methods – and not necessarily as effective as official EFT.

Just as choosing a therapist can be a difficult task because one must have a rapport with that person and their theoretical backgrounds and expertise can vary widely, the same can be said of EFT practitioners – though that should not be the case. In its true form, done correctly, every practitioner uses the same technique and therefore only their rapport with the client and their delivery choices (ie use of humor, tell the story, the movie technique, etc) would vary amongst them.

There’s only one official EFT, straight from the founder himself…

Gary Craig took years perfecting his technique, changing things, tweaking the tapping points and shortcuts. But the core concepts of tapping on specific events hasn’t changed. That is the part that matters, the actual work horse of his powerful technique. And guess what? While we are all united in experiencing common issues as a result of our history, we do not have the same memories because we don’t have the same lives. So why should that all important set up phrase be filled with language someone else came up with?

EFT targets our own specific events, the memories we each have, that hold an energetic charge or disruption over us over time – in much the same way that a masseuse kneads out muscles tense with stresses built up over time. EFT has the additional benefits of lasting longer, often taking less time, being a self-help tool in between sessions, and the positive impact of tapping on specific events from one issue releasing negative effects from others as well.

It matters: What you say and how you say it…

Choosing your own EFT practitioner should be a matter of finding one you feel comfortable with, who understands the technique, and who uses it in its truest form. EFT can be done on your own as well, but often the specific events of an issue are difficult to ascertain on our own, we need someone to talk to, someone to help us develop our own set up statements. Your rapport with them will be important as you learn this and as you work on various goals you’ve set for yourself.

Consider how you might express your feelings of one upsetting situation to various people in your life. For example, you are called into your manager’s office to learn you are to be laid off and later hear another co-worker who does less for the company has not – simply because they’ve been there longer and HR made the decision. To your coworkers, you may maintain a professional façade, expressing that you’re okay, “I’m upset that I don’t have a job but I’ll find something, I’m fine.” To your best friend, to the person you can be most yourself, things might change. You may express that you’re “really pissed off”, “just want to punch a wall”, “it isn’t fair that that lazy cow kept her job and I lost mine!”, “it’s not fair”, “my stomach was in knots when they called me in, my palms were sweaty, and the room was spinning when I left”, or “I’m so scared right now I can’t even see straight”.  To yourself, you may be somewhere in the middle – but unless you’re willing to talk to yourself as though another is in the room, you’ll lose the impact, the stark honesty, the raw emotion, the actual expression of what happened, what you felt. And that, my friend, is where our energy system gets disrupted – and therefore it’s exactly what we want to use EFT to neutralize.

So do yourself a favor – ignore the scripts out there and get the real deal from an EFT practitioner!

Acupressure EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Empowerment Healing Life Relationships Self-Help Tapping Uncategorized

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Nov 1

UnTapU

by T. Bracy

“I change myself, I change the world.” Gloria Anzaldua

For the past 5-6 years, since originally reading that quote, it has stayed with me. So many of us want to change the world and the number of ideas for how to accomplish that are just as plentiful. I happen to believe we should take care of our own proverbial skeletons before helping others, and that change can then be affected from there. It’s been a guiding thought on my own path to empowerment, and worth sharing with all of you.

water drop (7)

“Little drops of water wear down big stones. ” – Russian Proverb

Another sentiment befitting the ideas embodied at UnTapU. EFT is a small, simple, easy method to employ – but it creates a large, lasting, far-reaching effect. It does so with little or no pain (in the case of traumas, any remembering can be painful), and the ripple effect of working on one issue can be felt across all aspects of our lives. The gentle yet powerful image of a simple water drop reminds us all of the power of small changes, of each one of us to do great things – to be empowered.

That is why UnTapU was the name chosen for this EFT practice. “Tapping into” a resource is a common idea, one that means we can now gain from something that was previously unavailable for any number of reasons. I feel that we are each one of our own untapped resources, that we have all the tools we need to be everything we want, to have everything we want in life. We have those things but don’t always learn how to use them, how to be ourselves, or how to feel empowered.

Through the use of EFT, we can each become empowered – we come into our truest, best versions of ourselves. In sessions, you learn to “untap” YOU, just as you would in class but also as you would through traditional counseling or talk therapy, or through massage therapy. Through tapping, you tap into you, tap into empowerment, and not only become the person you know you truly are, but also begin to live the life you truly want.

I’m still learning and growing UnTapU, adding to my site here and new opportunities are constantly presenting themselves to me, just as new people are as well. So check things out, comment, make suggestions, let me know what you think!

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Thank you for your response. ✨

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Oct 31

EFT and Social Media Overwhelm

by T. Bracy

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We were all told at some point or another – “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  Well I, for one, fail at that frequently! Call it my sense of humor, blame it on the things I notice, the sarcasm that drips out of me, or just that sometimes I just don’t feel like being nice (or that person doesn’t deserve nice!) And the same goes for positivity…it isn’t always the first thing to come to mind and we feel it should.

Except when we’re tapping – because EFT begs us to get right down to the nitty gritty of our most ugly complaints, emotions, and hurts. Not only does EFT encourage me to complain and be specific about it, EFT also doesn’t mind if I use those horrible four-letter words that shock people if I say them aloud (I swear, the reaction is almost like when my four year old nonchalantly uses them, like when he innocently informed me, “You scared the hell out of me” and I was surprised and amused).

So as I’ve been at this business thing for several weeks now, and while I love UnTapU for the tapping and helping people, I’m going to just say right now, my own personal tapping has been on this wonderfully far-reaching, convenient, fantastically free method of communicating that we call Social Media – because it’s overwhelming, anxiety provoking, pressure-causing, confusing, illogical, frustrating, and a total pain in the neck, head, a$$ and anywhere else it can cause pain.

But I’m tapping to learn all these new, foreign-to-me things easier (cause my computer is meant for writing, researching and sometimes music or movies, not website building, page development, tweeting, posting, and blogging!), to accept it all as part of growing UnTapU. I’m tapping to feel less anxious about the tone, time of day, content, and reach of every post, blog and picture. I’m releasing my tension, frustrations, and yes, even straight up anger about the process and how I simply want to use EFT to help people but am learning more about all this stuff instead. I’m tapping to sleep better, to feel content in whatever progress is made each day, and stay afloat in a sea of overwhelm that threatens to drown me.

And at the end of each day (whenever it may end!) I find I’ve accomplished something towards any number of goals I have. Now you can visit UnTapU or like us on Facebook – which couldn’t have happened at the end of summer. I have discovered ways to use pictures so I’m not breaking any laws and find quotes that bring inspiration. And now, I’ve joined the masses in the Twitter world (@TapIntoYou), to bring UnTapU into today’s version of the modern world almost completely.  So EFT has worked to strengthen my motivation when a year ago I would have given up at GoDaddy’s BS website builder or balked at the idea that I’d stick to anything, let along blogging, for weeks – and please don’t even let me start on how I’ve completely avoided even the idea of every joining yet another social media thingy like Twitter.

I can’t guarantee I’ll be positive, though I love the notion and use it as much as I can in my own human existence. But from what I’ve seen, EFT has me exercising more (even smiling to my music and enjoying the workout!), eating better, laughing more, sleeping better (shut up, it’s not really 3am in my currently inspired world!), more motivated, less anxious/tense, and altogether more confident and positive about not only my personal life, but also the success and future of UnTapU.

So let me ask you all, because I’m always up for new ideas, What’s working that well for you? EFT’s like a massage and counseling session all rolled into one fast moving technique that’s literally constantly at your own fingertips…I can’t think of anything to be quiet about there 😉

Acupressure EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Empowerment Life Self-Help Tapping

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Oct 30

Letting Go with EFT

by T. Bracy

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Letting go is a common topic. We advise others freely to “let it go”, “move on”, “get over it”, or “get past it”. We struggle to do the same. We fight ourselves when we can’t, berating ourselves for dwelling on things.

Sometimes we hold on even when we don’t realize we are, when we don’t want to. The energy of those past hurts, the emotional message we take from a situation, that is what holds us – and it can feel impossible to let go.

We build walls. We refuse to let people in. We stop trusting anyone else – and we stop trusting ourselves, which is even worse! We avoid people, stay alone. We deflect questions with more questions or make jokes so people don’t even realize the question was avoided. We wrap ourselves up in pessimism, skepticism, doubt – and call it realism. All the while, the reality is simply that we didn’t let go.

I myself am just as guilty as the next of these same things. I know the tricks, how to explain the past as though it isn’t actually an excuse but a reason, a method to my madness, the explanation for my current reality. And of course, I’ve been faced with the same decision as many of you reading this now: continue as I have, or become something more – choose happiness over discontent and fear.

So a life of exhaustion, fear, unhappiness, and confusion would continue, if not for the efficient, simple success of EFT in cutting down those hurts, fears, anxieties, and shames.  Without any other changes, without the benefit of unyielding willpower or supernatural discipline, I’ve chosen to be happy and steered a course in that direction. Just me, myself, and EFT.

Join me in using EFT to change your life too – whatever adjustments you need or want, large or small, possible or seemingly insurmountable. All you’ve got to lose is whatever is holding you back from the life you want. Contact UnTapU today! 

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Oct 23

Coincidence, Luck, or EFT?

by T. Bracy

A lot of things factored into my decision to begin UnTapU, my own EFT business, while I continued to work for the company I’m with now. For one thing, I kept hearing people talk about their problems and what came to mind was always that “They should just tap on that, it’d help so much!” I sprinkled it into my work with the children and found success, as well as with the parents who were open to trying it. Success! And my passion for it kept growing. I’m smart, driven, ambitious – I want to be a success on my own.

I’m not sure I do so well with authority figures, which was another reason for branching out on my own, to do something I’m passionate about without reporting to someone else or bound by any paperwork except what I wanted for my own reasons. But I also came to accept that my job has an income ceiling, and I’m a single mom with an independence streak ten miles long, so I needed to do something. I want to build and own my dream home, have music lessons for my son, sports lessons or equipment he might need (my little rising baseball star/future president!), travel, spend more time with family out of the state, whatever I want to do! So I started UnTapU at https://tapintoempowerment.us so I could begin doing just that – be independent while also helping people learn about something I’m passionate about.

But the reality of a start up business is that there’s an incubation period before things grow and it can be considered a success. I’m determined to have that happen quickly but I also need my job in order to do all that and live on my own, support my son. And in recent months, the lay offs have mounted. In April it started, before that, my beloved team was completely replaced, and things have gone downhill since then. More layoffs in August, and yesterday, even more. We got these random texts to come in yesterday at various times, and the gossip mill revealed that we knew of at least 9 of us meeting individually with a supervisor but nothing else was said. I knew, more layoffs, that’s all that could mean.

So of course I’m scared, anxious, panicked. My stomach was in knots, my breathing was kind of shallow and my chest felt tight – thank you asthma! I knew I was on the chopping block. Things haven’t been going well with the company for a while, our team had low numbers, issues on the team, and I haven’t been happy with the company for over 6 months. I considered that it might be Law of Attraction at work – I’d be laid off because I’d been unhappy, wishing for something different, even actually starting UnTapU. I would be getting what I put out there all this time, in the form of a lay off. And I know myself, I knew I’d probably go in with a racing heart, facial expressions leaving nothing to the imagination, cheeks blazing, and I might possibly cry in despair at job loss with few prospects.

I looked first at jobs, applied to a couple, put my resume out there, and in searching, I saw how bleak the options were, and knowing the job situation, I knew I’d be competing with many current coworkers for the same position. At first I turned to the chip bag and the candy bowl, then I had to chastise myself for ignoring my own advice. Why wouldn’t I just tap on these feelings?!?

So I tapped on my fear, my anxiety, my anger at myself for anything I’d done – large or small – to bring this about. I tapped about being scared to lose everything and be homeless without a job, not having UnTapU succeed as quickly as I might need it to if I was just laid off with a severance package. Tapped on not providing for myself or my son, having nowhere to turn. Whatever I could think of before that meeting, I tapped on it. Even the drive to the office, I was tapping.

I got there to find a coworker I’d known to have had a meeting scheduled quieter than usual, and she commented on how nice I looked. “I figured if I’m getting laid off, I’m gonna look damn good while it happens!” I told her, and she laughed, agreeing that it had been her thoughts as well this morning. I chatted with our front office and records clerk, then went back with the person asking for the meeting, only to find another supervisor and two faces totally unfamiliar to us at our office. Yup, that’s another nail in the coffin that is this job I thought, then they introduced themselves as HR. So I sat down with a thudding heart that somehow quieted faster than expected.

He went on about MCO’s and basically summed up that it’s not us or our work but the changes going on across the state, and that our department just isn’t able to earn what it once was so cuts were being made. I readied myself with a deep breath, to hear exactly what severance and unemployment options would be available, to hear – as we’d heard with the other layoffs – that I’d be eligible for re-hire, and whatever other scripted things might have been allowed for them to tell me. On some level, I was kind of hoping for lay-off because I’d find something better, and I’d promote UnTapU like nobodies business in the meantime.

I half-listened to what he said until I heard him say “Fortunately for you, we have another position we’d like to offer you…” and told me I could effortlessly transition to another department with the same pay and benefits package. We’d been told at the beginning of the month that our department was taking a pay cut – and now I wouldn’t. I’ve always wondered about working in that department but was ambivalent about my ability to be objective in that role so here was a chance to try it out. And my evenings, often spent working with clients after school, would now be much clearer, because my focus wouldn’t be on kids getting out of school but helping parents who’d often be home during the day, available in mornings, or able to meet on lunch breaks.

All of this was good news, a relief, a better outcome than I had any right or hope of expecting. I was told it was all confidential because everyone needed to be talked to first, but soon the calls were coming in to discuss what was known and then an email giving us permission to discuss. Turns out it was 15 people, not 9, called in for this meeting, and only 4 of us were given the option (well it was take the job or you’ve basically resigned by Halloween, no severance or unemployment) to stay on with the company or one we’ve merged with.

Given the past several months, I knew I was a good candidate to get the ax. But somehow I wasn’t, and I ended up with no loss of my current pay, with an even better schedule possible with the families and the same flexibility I’ve been enjoying to make my own schedule with clients for them – while also being able to continue seeing clients privately as well, to grow UnTapu as I truly want to do.

So ya’ll tell me….coincidence, luck? Or did I succeed in realigning my energy system to dispel my fears, doubts, and feelings of desperation before that meeting so the universe could align with my positive energy for me to receive the best possible outcome out of such a bad situation? I’m inclined to see EFT as the “luck”. And I plan to keep spreading the word, building UnTapU to help everyone I can reach to Tap Into Empowerment so they can reach their goals, just as I am on my way towards reaching my own.

Happy Tapping!

Acupressure EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Empowerment Life Self-Help Tapping Uncategorized

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Oct 10

Sprinkles for Breakfast?

by T. Bracy

While I’m the first one to admit that I don’t always eat a traditional breakfast – or even eat it at all many days! – I admit that there are just some things that don’t sit right as suitable for the breakfast menu. I’ve seen my dad eat Ritz crackers with peanut butter and even a slice of apple pie for breakfast, and while I raised an eye brow more than once about those choices, they didn’t strike me as odd as this little guy’s choice.

I’ve mentioned before that my “day” job is helping children and families to learn better ways to handle things, like mental health disorders, behavior problems, parenting issues, stress, anxiety, anger, crisis management stuff so they can stay together as a family.  This involves a lot of different things, but mostly it’s home and/or community visits.

So off I go one morning, to pick up a particularly charming little guy and I find he’s gotten himself up and mom is still asleep. He shows me his room, full of the excitement only children have about showing off their stuff, and I’m surprised to see him lift his pillow to reveal a trail of cake sprinkles leading up to a tipped over bottle.

That’s right folks, I said sprinkles. Those pure-sugar cake, cookie, and ice cream decorating confections we’ve known and loved all our lives. He nonchalantly informed me he’d eaten them for breakfast and behind him, out of his sight line, I couldn’t help but cringe and worry. Was he going to end up getting sick – in my car, on me, at the library? Oh man, please don’t let this kid get sick.

Mom wakes up and joins the fun after we’ve left his room and things progress until we’re unexpectedly all in the car to go handle some things for them. She steps out of the car to take care of one of those things and I check in with little man in the back seat. How’s it going back there?  By now, I’ve forgotten about breakfast, except that I might want some sometime soon after this session is completed, the rumbling in my tummy is coming on.

Surprise, surprise, he’s just not feeling too great. Ya know that headache you get that accompanies that nausea-like feeling in your stomach when you’ve had too much sugar? The one that makes you wish you would just get sick already, so you can start to feel better? Then you know exactly how he was feeling! And I’m sure you can imagine the panic button on felt my hand hovering over too!

But instead of freaking out, I asked him if he was willing to try some magic tapping, and he gamely agreed. I asked him to described where and what he was feeling and told him to repeat after me, tap where I tapped, and after two rounds we checked in on his belly and he was better! Another round focusing on his head, all gone! He spent less than 3 minutes on the entire process and I could almost hear him saying, Sprinkles, what sprinkles?

I still work with him, and I’ve asked him since then about “that tapping thing we did” to see what he his thoughts are about EFT. “Oh yeah, that’s great! I liked that, it was easy and I felt better.” Should we teach that to his friends? “Yeah, yeah, teach my friends, help them!”

Anyone else experience such “One Minute Wonders” using EFT, Acupressure?  Please share!

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Oct 9

EFT and The First Regret of the Dying

by T. Bracy

And here’s the last post in my first mini-series of blogs 🙂 The last of my five, but first and most common, regret of the dying, as told by Bronnie Ware….

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”

I love this one, not because it’s the most common regret but because it strikes so close to home for me. One thing people in my life have always said about me, from acquaintances to closer friends, peers and classmates to boyfriends and family, is that I’m genuine. You may get some BS from me, but you get it with a smile or a laugh so you know I’m joking with you. You may not like the point I’m making but I’m not trying in any way to manipulate anyone into anything. And I may just not have the filter I should have but I say things that make people laugh even when I’m not trying to be funny or it’s an issue that might be a bit sensitive. But with all that said, I still feel like two people sometimes, like I’m not entirely sure what I should be doing for myself, just what I should be doing for others. Like the person I was born as is in competition with the person I became because life beat me down from day one and I reacted as best I could.

So many people are bombarded with the expectations of others around them, it’s easy to become confused. It’s also easy to lose sight of what we wanted to do when we were young and looked at the world as a place of possibility, where we could each do anything we wanted to do. Our parents have dreams for us, our teachers do too, and they all impart their own opinions (in various ways of course) about what we’re capable of doing. And if they’re like me, survival was the permanent mode, whether it was shut down and just keep breathing or get up swinging until they left us alone, it was still just survival, not learning to live, love, be happy. It wasn’t learning what makes us happy, what we’re good at doing, or believing that we could do that.

Then we settle. We do what we need to do, what’s expected of us, what we feel we must do. Everyone should’s all over themselves and others, so we choose to go with what we think we have to do. We choose it. And that brings another level to the issue. First is that we don’t live our most authentic, genuine lives and second is that we struggle to face and accept that we made those choices so we’d end up exactly where we are right now. Dying just makes people think about it more – brought the issues to be published in this book. Then there’s me, trying to learn from things before that point, to be that person who’s present and content in life, not complacent, but happy. So I look for ways to make that happen now, rather than later.

Enter EFT. This amazing acupressure technique that I take everywhere I go, even with me when nothing else is. This tool that helps me break down the crap from the past as well as the stuff that’s thrown at me every day. It helps me stop and remind myself that I don’t need to do something I don’t want to do, to examine why and when I do those things so I can stop them, to make better decisions that I’ll be happy with. It helps me see the issue more clearly, to resolve the junk I know has been in my way for more years than I care to admit. It allows me to lower my anxiety about life and troubles, to sleep better at night. It helps me feel less tired, lighter, more focused and driven so I’m not sneaking a nap into every afternoon or lazing around then mentally beating myself up for my slacker ways.

I use it when I’m irrationally angry about something someone else did, that I can’t change, and I won’t address because they just don’t get it – we’ve been there, done that, and the fight is never one but trust me, it’s a fight. But instead of carrying that with me, instead of letting them win by holding on to that anger and upset, I use EFT to take the energetic disruption out of the equation. Yes, that just happened, yes I know I was fit to be tied and probably would have liked to land a good punch on that stupid face, but I’m not upset or angry anymore. It’s funny that I imagined a punch I’ve never in my life thrown. It’s still a disrespectful, thoughtless, stupid thing that was done, but now I don’t have that upset adding to my day or to my next interactions with that person. I won’t be expecting the bad and getting it through pure law of attraction now.

But more importantly, I’m being myself. I’m letting that person out who I feel I was born as. That happy, cheerful person, someone who feels good both about life and the person she is. Holding those negative emotions makes me sarcastic, quick to temper, lack boundaries so I talk to everyone who’ll listen, or to constantly be focused on those things. They weigh us down, which is exhausting. Who wants to be around that? So people leave and then we’ve added insult to our own injury because we’re lonely with no one to blame but ourselves. EFT could be preventing all of these things with a 30 second basic recipe children can use easily.

Maybe you don’t feel like you’re not the person you were born to be, or don’t believe in that type of thing anyways. I’d be the first to argue nurture can be just as important as nature, but when I see who my son is, I recognize myself in a lot of ways whether I feel I am that way now or not, and I know it’s because I couldn’t be that person or I’d have been hurt, I wouldn’t have survived. So that’s not on my list of regrets, because I did what I had to in order to be here today, teaching my son. Yet I know there was a part of me missing, a part that prevented an authentic life, and that EFT has helped me take my power back, to be more myself with each passing day as I shed fears, expectations, limiting beliefs, hurt, and anger, sadness and weight.

EFT is the tool that can help you live an authentic life, to truly tap into your own power. That is why I’ve chosen Tap Into Empowerment and UnTapU as business name and website, etc. An empowered self is an authentic self, and the definition of insanity, from Einstein himself, is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Other things work, and that’s great. But sometimes they don’t work and something else is needed unless the plan is to keep doing that over and over. I chose to get off the insanity treadmill (though my body might need one for real!) and use EFT for my own empowerment. That’s one ride that’s not going to stop!

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Empowerment Life Regrets Relationships Self-Help Tapping Uncategorized

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Oct 9

The Second Regret of the Dying

by T. Bracy

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And the regrets keep coming….

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

Our generation has taken this work thing to a new level – and women are just as guilty of it now as men. Work doesn’t leave us alone and we don’t let it either. We invent and become addicted to computers, laptops, tablets, smart phones. We conference phone calls and now use video conferencing. Our children are even taught with this technology. Information, requests, demands – they’re all sent instantly and a reply or compliance is expected just as quickly.

So with this new, improved, faster paced work world (and yes, admittedly, our play world too but who’s complaining about that!), even time off gets invaded by work. Personally, I try to keep them separate. I remind myself that I’m on vacation and that while yes, the families I work with outside of UnTapU are in crisis, I need to take time to myself, that’s why there are three of us on a team! No set hours makes it difficult, because there is no office to clock in at, nor to even complete work at. Work with the families, do your research, phone calls, paperwork and such at home or wherever else you choose, but also whenever you choose as long as it meets the deadline. The phone is a distraction – my son doesn’t A) need to learn the habit of always being on a device, B) need to learn to be so rude to people, to not be present and value relationships, and C) need to see/hear the way work often affects me (I admit it, I want to throw the phone sometimes, a curse will slip out, or he’ll hear about how stupid people are before I stop myself).

This regret hits on some things that EFT can help us with. One thing is priorities, which I talked about before. Let’s get clear about what is important to us, then look at what we are doing with work. Hiding from something, someone? Avoiding, distracting ourselves? Is money an issue? Fear of failure? Fear of letting someone down (this isn’t just limited to a boss, manager, supervisor, this also includes parents, mentors, significant others, even kids)?

If we’re avoiding something by working so much, use EFT to face that person or thing, tap down those fears and the experiences that added up to the use of work as an avoidance technique. If it’s money, let’s explore the ideas we’ve grown up with about money, those limiting beliefs that have us chasing our own tails, running that treadmill, sweating our proverbial butts off, giving ourselves ulcers and other stress related diseases, and letting valuable relationships fall apart, missing important life events, while we’re too busy at work. EFT shifting those beliefs allows us to make different choices, use our money better, be open to more lucrative options available to us, and before long, the money is coming in and more time can be available for things other than work.

I tend to focus on relationships being a regrettable loss from working too much, but if I were to think of the things I’d put on my Bucket List, what I’d like to do, where I want to go, what I want to see and hear, accomplishments I’d want to list, and people I’d like to meet, I know that working too much can interfere with all of that. And working too much can also cause physical health issues, mental health issues. Stress related diseases and disorders are rampant! Sleeping problems, headaches, aches and pains, stomach issues, even heart disease and more, all things that are not only related to work stresses, but interfere with our quality of life both in and out of work. How we miss out on the good things because we’re hurting or too stressed to enjoy them! Such a shame!

But guess what can help decrease those things? That’s right! EFT. Reduce the stress – with the physical symptoms that come along with it – through tapping with EFT. That’s for both current stressors and for those previous experiences that we still carry with us. Boss is incompetent, often losing things you worked hard on and it’s getting more frustrating every time? Tap down that anger and frustration, tap about the first time you remember feeling so damn frustrated with them and the first time you ever felt that way. Then follow the memories that pop up after. Follow your Basic Recipe, Be Specific, and Check in on the intensity with your SUDS scale.

I’ve also talked about fear before in other blogs about the regrets of the dying. The fear that we might let someone down leading us to work so much, that can also be addressed with EFT. I believe fears like that come back to self esteem in a big way, and fear of rejection because somewhere along the way we learned that nothing we do is ever good enough, and we learn what our roles are in life – breaking out of them is unthinkable albeit desirable at times. When we tried and failed at something it only added to that fear, those self esteem issues. And EFT can most certainly help, by tapping down all those experiences, those memories, those movies that play in our minds when we think about times we felt not good enough, worthless, like a failure, etc. Even the ones we remember but think they aren’t upsetting anymore, they all get added to our list and we take the time to tap down the intensity of those memories so they carry no weight.

Tapping using EFT helps us lighten our burdens, unpacking some of the baggage we all carry. Sometimes I remember times I felt so heavy, so tired of it all. Not suicidal mind you, but just heavy. Heavy and tired, with no end in sight. Had I known about EFT back then, man oh man, I’d be a different person now! I imagine that along the way, with previous self-work, I’ve been slowly unpacking that baggage, but never as quickly and efficiently (or as truly effortlessly in an emotional sense) as with my own tapping experience using EFT.

So now we’ve journeyed together through all but the final, and first, regret of the dying. And so far, we’ve seen that EFT can help with all those things. Can’t wait to address the First Regret of the Dying…and then on to discuss more of my own personal work with EFT, work with clients using EFT, and busting out some quality rants about the frustrations of starting my own business to help other’s with EFT – and adding a mountain of stress to my own life to do it! Stay with me, join me for the first time, and check out UnTapU at https://tapintoempowerment.us  for more info on EFT, links to great resources, or to book an appointment for your own foray into a lighter existence!

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Empowerment Life Regrets Relationships Self-Help Tapping Uncategorized

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Oct 8

The Third Regret of the Dying

by T. Bracy

I got a little busy (Ironically, that directly relates to the second regret of the dying), but…

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

I can’t even begin to explain how many times I’ve thought this – or that someone else would just spit it out, say what they mean and leave it at that! We see it in movies, in books, on tv shows. If only he’d told her how he felt! Why didn’t she just explain what happened? We don’t say what we mean, and God forbid we tell someone how we feel!

Of course, EFT can help us overcome our fears, so if there’s something we are afraid to say to someone but need to say it, tapping on those acupressure points can help immensely to overcome the fear, doubt or anxiety that is getting in the way.

But if it’s a problem we often have, not telling people how we feel? For one thing, it can lead us to lie about things, stressing our relationships. It may hurt the person in the short run, and it may be difficult to say to them for us, yet it’s the best course of action in the long run. And we just don’t feel good about ourselves when we don’t tell the truth about how we feel. Plus, we don’t always just hide our feelings from other people, we hide our feelings from ourselves! Brilliant, eh? (That’s my near Canada upbringing coming out right there…)

It just doesn’t have to be that way. EFT can help us ask ourselves the tough questions like what’s stopping us from admitting our feelings, what might happen if we do and we don’t get what we want, or what we want to happen. Use this amazing technique to tap away the fear that comes along with facing these things. Fear of rejection is huge here! Not just for the situation we might be facing but also past situations that have led us to have that crippling fear in the first place. When we get rejected, the pain of that rejection can stay with us and continued experiences with it can make us want to totally avoid even the more remote possibility of feeling that pain again!

Use EFT to resolve those past experiences, deleting the energy disruption that comes with the upset and hurt we feel from things that happen like rejections. As those situations are tapped on and the disruptions in our energy system dissolve, so too will that fear of rejection. Walk a little taller, put ourselves out there, and be honest about our feelings so we can live a more authentic, genuine, happy existence.

Let EFT be that tool that’s pulled out for all occasions, the tool that lets us avoid the regrets facing so many of the dying!

To learn more about EFT and book an appointment, check out UnTapU at https://tapintoempowerment.us

Like us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/untapu

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Empowerment Life Regrets Self-Help Tapping Uncategorized

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Oct 2

Fourth Regret of the Dying

by T. Bracy

Couple Playing on a Swing

And so we continue:

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

We just don’t know what we’ve got until it’s gone do we? Seems most of us don’t because we do this a lot of the time. We let life happen, pass us by, and then realize too late that it wasn’t what we wanted – and the people in our lives are a huge part of our happiness.

Honestly, I struggled at first wondering how in the world EFT would help someone to not let a great friendship slip away. I know using EFT would help assuage the guilt and regret someone would feel over this happening, and the feelings of loss and pain that would accompany the knowledge that a wonderful friendship was gone, with no way to make it right. But I want to help us AVOID these top regrets of the dying, not just accept the emotion of it all!

Then it hit me. EFT must be at work throughout our lives, to combat the very things that cause us to allow our most valued relationships to die off. Sometimes a clear falling out is to blame, so there’s hurt and ager to tap on, but often the reasons are more difficult to pinpoint and therefore learn how to avoid.

So let’s see. We get busy, forget things, don’t have time, and put other things ahead of our relationships. How can EFT help us handle that? It can help by allowing us to let go of things that aren’t a priority – after helping us clarify our priorities! (Note: If it isn’t important to you that such value is placed on friendships or any relationships, no worries, this isn’t a regret you’ll have, but getting clear about that priority and you can still use it to let go of the things that aren’t).

Maybe Mom kept an immaculate house, telling you that even though we weren’t going to be in it for a week, it had to be clean because, well what if we were robbed or something? God forbid the people tracking dirt in and out of our house to rob us blind could criticize the housekeeping! But we got the message: The house must not only be clean, but neat and free of clutter, everything in it’s place. So we clean and straighten and end up missing out on family time, losing time out with friends or catching up on the phone with your best friend who knew your first boyfriend and was the first to know about your first kiss. What emotions lead us to prioritize cleaning over relationships? Fear mostly.

Fear leads us to should all over ourselves and fail to evaluate our own priorities. “I should get these dishes done, vacuum the house, put these clothes away, etc” and on and on the list could go. We’re afraid of what our mother’s would say if they saw this mess, what other people would think or say because we learned to think that way. So the cleaning gets done while your best friend has to leave a voice mail, and you think, I’ll call her back when I get a minute. And then you’re too exhausted – or she can’t answer if or when you do call back.

So use EFT to get clarity on your priorities, then to let go, to handle the emotions behind all the “shoulding” we are all guilty of. Ask yourself what would happen if you put that relationship before these other things, what could go wrong for you if you didn’t do that, and use EFT to resolve it.

I don’t know about any of you, but I do know that relationships are what I value above everything else. The cleaning can wait, work can wait, and all the tech that prevents us from really connecting, that can wait too. People come first, and the ones closest to me are at the top of the list. My best friends – my sisters — can call me any time, day or night, and if I hear it I will answer or call back quickly, and the only reason I would not do so is because of the one relationship I value over all others, and that is the relationship I have with my son. The world, my world, is run by the quality of the relationships I have, and I know EFT can help me be the best I can be in order to have relationships I can treasure until I die – without regret.

Our relationships bring us strength, that’s true empowerment.
“Follow your Bliss and the Universe will open doors for you.” Joseph Campbell

Action EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Empowerment Life Regrets Relationships Self-Help Tapping

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